


A Peculiar Romance

by whatevenisabrobeck



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Alternate Universe, Demons, It's actually sort of cute, M/M, Nobody dies but people do get banished to the pits of hell, There is some blood tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-31
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-21 05:45:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 16,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9534275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatevenisabrobeck/pseuds/whatevenisabrobeck
Summary: “Are you sure this is a good idea?” Spencer asked nervously, tugging on his bangs. He did that when he was nervous, “Ryan, where did you even get that? Won’t we get in trouble? Come on, let’s just go watch movies at my house--”“Yes, I found it, no,” Ryan replied sharply, “And we did that this weekend.”“There’s plenty we haven’t seen yet.”Ryan set the Ouija board down on the table. “You don’t have to stay.”“Yes I do,” said Spencer, “You’ll say I’m chicken if I don’t.”“You are chicken,” Ryan pointed out.“Yeah, because I don’t want to talk to ghosts or whatever.”“They’re spirits.”“Whatever,” Spencer sighed, “What do you want me to do, anyway?”“Turn off the lights,” Ryan instructed, “And then come sit down.”Spencer obliged, knocking over a chair in the process, and Ryan raised his hands in the air like he’d seen in movies. “Oh, Spirits! Demons! Goblins, ghouls, on hallow’s eve, we summon you!”





	1. Chapter 1

Prologue

 

Halloween, 1996

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Spencer asked nervously, tugging on his bangs. He did that when he was nervous, “Ryan, where did you even get that? Won’t we get in trouble? Come on, let’s just go watch movies at my house--”  
“Yes, I found it, no,” Ryan replied sharply, “And we did that this weekend.”  
“There’s plenty we haven’t seen yet.”  
Ryan set the ouija board down on the table. “You don’t have to stay.”  
“Yes I do,” said Spencer, “You’ll say I’m chicken if I don’t.”  
“You are chicken,” Ryan pointed out.  
“Yeah, because I don’t want to talk to ghosts or whatever.”  
“They’re spirits.”  
“Whatever,” Spencer sighed, “What do you want me to do, anyway?”  
“Turn off the lights,” Ryan instructed, “And then come sit down.”  
Spencer obliged, knocking over a chair in the process, and Ryan raised his hands in the air like he’d seen in movies. “Oh, Spirits! Demons! Goblins, ghouls, on hallow’s eve, we summon you!”  
“That’s lame,” said Spencer, “How do we even know if they’re here or not?”  
Ryan put his hands on the pointer of the board. “We ask them,” he cleared his throat, “Spirits, demons, goblins and ghouls? Are you there?”  
Ryan felt something slowly pulling his hand to the “yes” on the ouija board.   
“You’re just doing that,” Spencer decided.  
“Am not!” Ryan felt the pull stop, “How many of you are there?”  
His hand slid on its own to the 1. “Are you a goblin, a spirit, a ghoul, or a demon?”  
“D,” Spencer read the letters aloud, “E-M-O-N. Demon.”  
“What do you call youself?”  
“Seriously?”  
“Shut up, Spencer!”  
“You shut up, Ryan!”  
“It’s moving!” Ryan yelled.  
“You’re moving it!”  
“Am not,” Ryan mumbled, “B-R-E-N-D-O-N. Brendon. Its name is Brendon.”  
“That’s a weird name for a demon.”  
“Shut up, you’re gonna tick it off,” Ryan hissed, “How old are you?”  
His hands were moving again, “Nine,” he read aloud.  
“Me too,” said Spencer excitedly.   
“I’m ten,” Ryan informed the demon, “I’m Ryan. This is Spencer, he’s nine.”  
“Where do you live?” Spencer asked glibly.  
“H,” Ryan read, “E-R-E. Here. Me too.”  
“What do you like to do?”   
“P-I-A-N-O. He plays piano.”  
“Do you wanna be friends with us?” Spencer asked.   
“Spence, that’s lame, he probably has lots of friends,” Ryan muttered as his hands moved.  
“Really, because he said ok!” Spencer smiled, “What else should we ask him?”  
“When can we talk to you again?”   
“H-A-L-L-O-W-E-E-N. Next halloween.”


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 1

 

Halloween, 2001

“I wonder what Brendon’s been doing this year,” Spencer sighed, throwing a tennis ball at the ceiling of Ryan’s room.”We haven’t heard from him since…” he wrapped his fingers around the necklace that hung around his neck, the one that had mysteriously appeared on his 14th birthday.  
Ryan, too, reached for his necklace. It was a bronze chain with a strange, gear-like pendant hanging off of it, and it had come to him, the day he turned fifteen. Spencer’s had just shown up in his room one day, but Ryan’s had sort of.. Materialized around his neck. As if Brendon were behind him, putting it on. He hadn’t told Spencer about that part.  
There weren’t many things that Ryan kept from Spencer, but something in his gut told him that this was not meant for his best friend’s ears. Brendon was both of their secret, anyway, and Ryan wouldn’t want Spencer to feel like he was being left out. “Well, tonight’s the night, right?”  
“Yeah,” Spencer breathed, “Yeah, it is. Your dad still up?”  
“I doubt it; he’s been drinking.”  
“Kitchen?”  
“Bathroom.”  
They’d learned, over the years, that rooms without windows were better for contacting demons, as neighbors were unable to stare. Once they’d settled into the bathtub with their trusty ouija board and turned off the lights, Ryan raised both his hands into the air. “From the depths of the underworld or the depths of the house, Brendon, I summon thee!”  
“Didn’t he tell you to stop saying that?”   
Ryan’s hand was slowly pushed to the yes. He realised, with a strange, warm feeling, that the force guiding him was that of Brendon’s hands. “How was your year?”  
“G-O-O-D,” Spencer recited, “How descriptive.”  
“I,” Ryan’s hand shook as it was pushed across the board. “D-O-N-T… Brendon, you don’t what?”  
“H-A-V-E, have,” Spencer read as Ryan’s hands were jerked almost violently from letter to letter, “M-U-C-H-T-I-M-E, much time. ‘I don’t have much time!’”  
“Why not?” Ryan asked, gently stroking the pointer.  
“N-T… Nt? M-P-R-T-N-T,” Spencer tried to decipher what Brendon was trying to say, “Not important? Brendon, I think it is--”  
“F-I-N-D, find, find what?” Ryan could feel Brendon’s hands shaking, too.  
“M-E,” Spencer choked out. “What, Brendon, aren’t you--”  
“R-Y-A-N,” Ryan breathed out the letters as Brendon spelled his name, “I… Brendon, you what?”  
The lights flickered on, and for a moment Ryan thought his father had woken up and that he was going to have to answer a series of pointless, are-you-quitting-Catholicism questions, but then the lights turned off again. Something fell on Ryan, it must’ve been the shower bar, and he suddenly couldn’t see. Hands, his hands, Spencer’s hands, perhaps, fought to free him, and then Spencer’s hands were holding his, but the hands were still fighting.   
Ryan managed to shake the shower curtain off his head and repressed a scream. The mirror had been replaced with a red and swirling mass, and something, someone, was being sucked in. Ryan saw the someone as a shadow, with devil horns and buzzed hair and flailing limbs. He knew, as soon as he saw, that this was Brendon. “Brendon!”  
“Ryan!” 

“Ry!”  
“Ryan, wake up, oh, God, wake up!”  
Ryan blinked and opened his eyes. He was lying on the bathroom floor, with his head in Spencer’s lap, staring up at the ceiling. Pieces of the wall and mirror lay on the floor with a tattered shower curtain, and the ouija board was nowhere in sight. “Oh, thank God!” Spencer had tear tracks down his face, and Ryan wondered how long he’d been crying. “I thought you were dead!”  
“What happened?”  
“Well, we were talking to Brendon,” Spencer explained calmly, “We hit a small snag when… well, I’m not sure why, but he left, and it didn’t seem like he wanted to. The shower rod fell out of the wall and onto us, and I was holding onto you for dear life, but you were pulling the shower curtain over my face--”  
“No, I wasn’t!” Ryan complained.  
“It’s my story!” Spencer continued, “Anyway, I heard, like, this raspy voice yelling ‘Ryan!’ and then this even raspier, more demonic, and all-around frightening voice yelling, ‘Brendon’--”  
“Shut up, you know that was me!”  
“I’m just telling it like it happened,” Spencer defended, “So, like, these demons were yelling at eachother--”  
“I hate you.”  
“Shhh, I promise, I’m done,” Spencer crossed his fingers like he was making a pinky promise to himself, “Anyway, yeah, I guess you saw Brendon and your mortal eyes couldn’t handle it, because you kinda… passed out?”  
“Is that a question?”  
“Well, your eyes rolled back into your head and there was smoke coming out of your mouth, and I kinda thought you were dead,” Spencer explained, “But, anyway, the mirror had shattered--”  
“When?” Ryan sat up, rubbing his head.  
“Ugh, I don’t know, I was a little preoccupied with you being dead!”  
“I wasn’t dead.”  
“Shut up, okay, I was worried for your safety!”  
“Whatever.”  
“Anyway, I dragged your heavy ass out of the bathtub, and then I waited twenty minutes for you to wake up.”  
“You thought I was dead and you waited?” Ryan asked. “Some friend you are.”  
“I was in shock.”  
“Oh, God, my dad’s gonna kill me,” Ryan realized, looking around the room, “Why did Brendon have to break the fucking mirror?”  
“He might not notice.”  
“He’ll notice,” Ryan whined, “And I don’t think I can be here when he does.”  
“What’re you saying?”  
“Brendon said to find him, didn’t he?” Ryan asked, standing up and brushing the plaster dust off his jeans.  
“Yeah, but--”  
“What are we waiting for?”  
“Um, we don’t have any idea where to start?” Spencer stared at Ryan in shock. “We just almost died? He’s a demon from the netherworld who probably doesn’t want our help? We have no way of knowing we were even talking to the real Brendon? Those good enough for you?”  
“Spencer, come on,” Ryan whined, “He’s our best friend, and he needs our help!”  
“That’s very convincing, but were you listening to me?”  
“Of course,” Ryan smiled, “Go into my room and get our overnight bags.”  
“Yours isn’t even packed,” Spencer whined.  
“Well, then, pack it! Come on, Spence, we don’t have much time! Brendon could be dying!”


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 2

“This is the worst plan you’ve ever had,” Spencer hissed. “Why are we here again?”  
“We need the computer,” Ryan reminded him, “Your parents could wake up at any time, my dad is asleep in the computer room, and your grandma sleeps like the dead.”  
“She’s sweet, why are we taking advantage of her?”  
“Do you want to help Brendon or not?” Ryan reached under the doormat and pulled out the key.   
“You’re awful.”  
Ryan turned the key in the lock, and the two of them crept into the house and down the hall to the living room. Spencer booted up the computer, and after a few minutes, they had internet access. “Look up paranormal, Las Vegas, Nevada,” Ryan whispered.  
“I know!”  
“Then why aren’t you doing it?”  
Spencer quickly typed the words into the google search bar, and clicked on the first result. “Wentz and Stump Psychic Associates,” he read, “This one looks good.”  
“We don’t need a psychic,” Ryan argued, “We need someone who can get us to hell. Look up hell portal, Las Vegas, Nevada.”  
“There’s only one Las Vegas, the Nevada just wastes time.”  
“Whatever,” Ryan rolled his eyes as Spencer pressed the search button.   
“This one looks good,” Spencer clicked on a link, “Dally Stardust’s Netherworld Portal.”  
“Let me see,” Ryan hissed, shaking the chair Spencer was sitting in, “It looks okay. We’d better just… yeah.”  
“What?”  
“Go get your grandma’s keys and meet me in the car.”  
“I hate you so hard,” Spencer mumbled, jogging to the kitchen to get the keys.

“Again, Ryan, you shouldn’t be driving without a licensed driver in the--”   
“Shut up, Spencer!” Ryan revved the engine and sped the car up to 80, “I’m going the speed limit.”  
“Just because it’s legal doesn’t mean you should!” Spencer shrieked, clinging to the overhead handle.  
“I thought you said it wasn’t legal.”  
“George Ryan Ross the third, when you stop this car, I swear to God, I will strangle you.”  
“Cool,” Ryan sped past the ‘Welcome to Las Vegas’ sign, “What’s this guy’s address?”

 

Ryan stood on the doorstep, Spencer behind him, and knocked on the door. It was answered, almost immediately, by a woman with long, dark hair piled on top of her head. She was wearing a long black dress and heavy makeup, making it impossible to judge her age or what she really looked like. “Welcome to Dally Stardust’s,” she said in a low voice, “Have you an appointment?”  
“Um, no,” Ryan stammered, “We… we read about you online and we…”  
“You really should have an appointment,” the woman gave Ryan a disapproving look, “But you’re lucky-- we’re not busy right now. Right this way.”  
Ryan and Spencer followed the woman through a winding maze of hallways, until eventually they reached a small room. The woman opened the door and said, “Wait here for a minute.”  
“Alright, ma’am,” Spencer nodded, and the woman slipped into the room.  
After a few moments, spent in silence by Ryan and Spencer, she reappeared. “You may enter.”  
Ryan and Spencer did as they were told, in an almost daze-like state. The room was little more than a closet, and it contained only a table, a chair, and a man. The table was small and appeared to be wooden; it was covered by a bright red tablecloth. The chair was occupied by the man, who reminded Ryan vaguely of Bowie. He had spiky dark hair, wore sunglasses and a white suit, and was covered in red glitter. “You’re not demons,” said the man, “Breezy wasn’t lying.”  
“No, she-- she wasn’t,” Spencer spoke up. More often than not, he did the talking for himself and for Ryan. “We need to use your portal.”  
The man, who they assumed was Dally Stardust, laughed loudly. “You need to use my portal? What for?”  
“We--”  
“We just need it, is all,” Ryan mumbled, “It’s too complicated to explain.”  
“How old are you?”  
“Fourteen,” said Spencer, “He’s fifteen.”  
Dally Stardust raised his glittery eyebrows, “Quite young to be interested in such things, don’t you think?”  
“I don’t care,” Ryan huffed, “We can pay you. How much do you want?”  
“Your human money means nothing to me.”  
“We have a car,” Ryan boasted. “Out front. What make is it, Spence?”  
“Ryan…”  
“This might be our only chance to save Brendon!”  
Dally Stardust leaned patiently on the table. “Who’s Brendon?”  
“He’s our friend, and he’s in trouble,” Spencer explained, “Please, we need your portal, or he’ll die.”  
“There’s a human boy trapped in Hell?”  
“Not exactly.”  
Dally smiled wickedly and leaned in close to Ryan, breathing in loudly through his nose. He lingered in Ryan’s face for a few moments, and no one talked. Eventually, he said, “I’ll help you-- I don’t want your car, though.”  
“What do you want, then?” Ryan asked.   
“I want to go with you.”  
“Done.”  
“Ryan!” Spencer yelped. “Do you know what you just-- Oh my god…”  
“Can you calm down?” Ryan asked, whispering despite the fact that Dally could probably hear him. “This is the only way we can save Brendon.”  
“Indeed,” said Dally, before Spencer could answer, “Now, I have some paperwork for the two of you to fill out before we make our descent.” He waved his hands, and two lengthy pieces of paper covered in small print appeared on the table.   
Ryan picked up one of the packets, and, without reading it, signed. “What are you doing?” Spencer demanded, “Who knows what rights you just signed away? Oh my God, Ryan, you’re going to get yourself killed!”  
“No offense, Spencer, but I don’t really care,” Ryan slid his paper across the table to Dally, “And you know Brendon would do the same for us.”  
“No, I don’t, actually.”  
“What was that?”  
“Nothing,” Spencer always backed down. He didn’t want to fight with Ryan, no matter how wrong his friend was.  
“No, you said something.”  
“Gentlemen,” Dally drawled, tapping his finger on Spencer’s form, “Now is not the time to argue! The form simply states that the pair of you agree to listen to me during our stay in the underworld, and that you agree to my terms and conditions!”  
“Great, but I still don’t trust you,” said Spencer sharply, “Both of you can just wait five minutes for me to read the whole thing.”  
“Is he always like this?” Dally asked.  
“Yes,” said Ryan and Spencer in unison.   
Eventually, Spencer finished reading the document, and he must have deemed it satisfactory, because he signed it. “Lovely,” Dally smiled maliciously, “Now, let’s begin. Hold onto the table.”  
“What?” Spencer asked. “Why?”  
Dally gave him a look over his sunglasses. “Shut up, Spence,” Ryan hissed, clinging white-knuckled to the table.  
Reluctantly, Spencer brought his hands to the table and gripped it gently. “Lovely,” Dally smiled, showing all his teeth. “Now, be quiet. If either of you talk…”  
“Yeah, yeah, we get it, get us to Hell,” Ryan scowled.   
Dally nodded. “Oh, great, vast underworld! My ever-accepting homeland, fiery refuge of the damned! Open your flaming gates and let us in!”  
The table began to shake, and then it was on fire. Ryan and Spencer clung to it until they both lost consciousness.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There's some blood and sort of death in this chapter.

Chapter 3

When they woke up, the three of them seemed to be in a dark void barren of any form of life. To Ryan, it vaguely resembled a desert. “Is this Hell?” he demanded. “Brendon! BRENDON!”  
“Shh,” Dally held his hand up, glitter falling from it, stark against the black nothingness, “Be very quiet. I should warn you-- good things never happen to mortals in Hell.”  
“Oh, now you tell us,” Spencer huffed, picking himself up off the ground, “I didn’t see that anywhere in the forms.”  
“I didn’t write those forms for you, love,” Dally spat the word love as if it were an insult, “I’ve never taken a mortal down before. Should be interesting.”  
“What do you mean, interesting?” Spencer demanded.  
“I mean what I said.”  
“Who goes there?” A voice boomed around them.  
“U--um…” Ryan stammered, “Umm…”  
“No matter,” a young man appeared before them, his skin a glistening, scaly red, and his clothes something from a forgotten section of fashion history, “I know anyway. I am Brent, the all-knowing guardian of the gates of Hell.”  
“Nice… nice to meet you,” Spencer managed, nodding at the demon.  
“Nice to meet you too, Spencer James Smith, from Summerlin, Nevada,” Brent smiled wickedly, “How’re your sisters? Alive?”  
“Last I checked,” Spencer gulped loudly.  
“You sure?” Brent reached out to touch Spencer lightly on the forehead, and, suddenly, all he was somewhere else.  
Ryan and Dally were gone, and Spencer stood with Brent in his family’s kitchen. Jackie and Crystal lay on the floor, motionless and dripping with something red. “What’s going on?”  
“You tell me,” Brent wiggled his eyebrows.  
“Those are… those are my little sisters,” Spencer was overcome with rage, “What did you do to them? You leave them alone!”  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  
The lights in the kitchen went down, and, suddenly, there were more bodies on the floor. Spencer’s parents. “Oh my… Oh my God. Mom! Dad! Can you hear me?” A tear ran down his cheek. His family was dead.  
Brent laughed. “You sure are getting worked up.”  
“What did you do to them?”  
Through his tears, Spencer could make out a fifth body lying with the others, his sweatshirt stained with blood. Ryan. “No no no no no,” Spencer mumbled, shaking and crying. “No no no no no no.”  
“Isn’t death beautiful?” Brent sang, “Isn’t it so poetic? The blood that used to flow through their veins is now just red water on the floor. Funny.”  
“You leave him alone!” Ryan’s body was suddenly leaping up off the floor and tackling Brent, and the scene shifted. Spencer was on the ground, where he had been kneeling by his family, now back in the empty nothingness of Hell. Ryan was there, but, at the same time, he was in another place altogether.  
“Oh, Ryan, you love your friends, don’t you?” Brent chided. They were alone in the hallway of Ryan’s school. “All two of them.”  
“Leave them out of this,” Ryan hissed. “I know this isn’t real. This is just… whatever you did to Spencer.”  
“Is it?” Brent smirked and, with a wave of his hand, the sound of Spencer’s screaming rang through the halls.  
“RYAN! Ryan, help!”  
Ryan whipped around, trying to find the source of the sound. Who knew what kind of terrible fate had befallen Spencer? They were in Hell. They were in Hell, Spencer was in danger, and it was all Ryan’s fault--  
“RYAN!” A voice Ryan recognized as Brendon’s screamed. He sounded like he was in excruciating pain. “Please, help me!”  
“Brendon!” Ryan yelled. “Brendon, where are you!”  
“RY!” Spencer screamed again, this time louder. “Ryan!”  
“Spence!”  
Ryan turned around again, and, before he could think, his feet were moving. He was going toward Spencer, he had to help him! He ran and he ran, but no matter what he did, he never got any farther. “I thought it was all fake,” Brent winked at Ryan.  
“RYAN, SNAP OUT OF IT!” Spencer’s voice sounded closer. “Ryan, come on!”  
“This is fake,” Ryan muttered. “This is fake.”  
“It doesn’t matter,” Brent put his hand on Ryan’s shoulder, “You’ve failed your first test. You’re going to Hell, Ryan Ross.”  
“No!” Ryan yelled, and he could feel other voices yelling with him. He heard Spencer’s tearful yelp, and Brendon’s, which was more like a battle cry.  
Brent’s hand moved to Ryan’s neck, and there was a sound a thousand times worse than sizzling flesh as the demon screamed out in pain. Ryan didn’t have time to think as, suddenly, he was back in the dark desert. “Ryan, Oh my God,” Spencer was by his side immediately. “What happened? Are you okay?”  
“I’m… I think I’m fine.”  
“You killed him!” Dally cheered. “Well done, Ryan! That was your first test and you passed!”  
“That was a test?” Spencer demanded. “I’m sorry, I just saw my fucking baby sisters dead on the kitchen fucking floor. That doesn’t seem like a test. That seems like mental and emotional torture.”  
“There are three layers to Hell,” Dally explained, ignoring Spencer’s outburst, “There’s the torture and pools of fire layer, with the eight levels of Dante’s Inferno, which you two just experienced,” He said ‘eight levels of Dante’s Inferno’ in an exaggerated deep voice, like he was mocking game show hosts everywhere, “There’s the layer where the demons are, where I’m guessing your friend probably is, and, then, there’s here.”  
“What’s here?” Ryan asked.  
“A series of five tests,” Dally explained, “The only way for mortals to enter the demon realm is to pass all of them. And you just passed the first, with flying colors! Oh, Ryan, they’ll be so impressed! You actually killed a demon! I mean, yes, it was with a protective amulet, but still!”  
“What? A protective what?”  
“That’s what you’ve got around your neck,” Dally pointed at the necklace that Brendon had given Ryan, “I thought you knew. It’s a good thing you had it, too.”  
“None of this was mentioned in the forms!” Spencer yelled. “If we make it back to the earthplane alive, Mr. Stardust, you’re going to have a monster lawsuit on your hands!”  
“What do we do now?” Ryan asked Dally, both of them again ignoring Spencer.  
“We wait,” he smiled evilly, “For the next test.”

 

They’d been waiting for what felt like several hours when, finally, the next test arrived. He seemed to materialize out of the shadows, and Ryan couldn’t help but stare at his rough green skin. “Oh, great, the Jolly Green Giant is here to save us,” Spencer huffed. Obviously, he hadn’t slept in a while and was a little irritated about the whole five tests thing.  
The demon laughed kindly. He had a nice laugh. “I am Jon,” he tipped a make-believe hat at them, “I’ve been sent to give you your second test.”  
“Jesus, finally!” Ryan stomped his foot on the ground. He, too, was a little tired and irritated.  
The ground rumbled under Ryan’s feet, and the sky above him flashed with blinding red lightning. “I wouldn’t say that down here if I were you,” Jon said politely. “Kind of a sore subject, you know?”  
“Mortals, am I right?” Dally shot finger guns at Jon, who laughed.  
“Oh my God, I’m tired of waiting, let’s go!” Ryan stepped between the two demons. Nothing rumbled or flashed this time, so he supposed that mentioning God the Father didn’t have the same effect as mentioning God the Son.  
“Alrighty then,” Jon approached Ryan, still sporting a kind smile, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ryan, slayer of Brent.”  
“Ooh, you’re a legend now!” Dally cheered. “This is so much fun! I should bring mortals to Hell more often, shouldn’t I?”  
All three of them looked at him, before Jon turned back to Ryan. “Where were we? Oh, yeah, the part where I immerse you in fantasy.” He touched Ryan’s arm lightly, and, again, they were somewhere else.  
Jon and Ryan were in a large room with intricately carved walls and ceilings. “Unfortunately, your amulet makes you impossible to capture,” Jon explained as the two of them walked toward a window, “But, no matter, it’s more than likely that you’ll come willingly.”  
“I doubt it,” Ryan huffed.  
“Don’t be so sure.”  
All of a sudden, Ryan could hear music, and he could smell food cooking. “You’d live like a king,” Jon’s voice was soft and inviting, “You’d have anything you could possibly need or want. Your father would die without you, fall down into the human realm and be tortured-- but, oh, not you. Not you, Ryan, Slayer of Brent.”  
“You and I could live in a castle together,” Now Brendon was speaking calmly, although Ryan couldn’t see him and was fairly certain it was a trick, “Just the two of us, we’d be so happy together. I would be the king of Hell, and you would be, like, my queen or something.”  
“This isn’t real,” Ryan reminded himself.  
“I’m real, Ryan,” Brendon assured him, “I’m just as real as I’ve always been. I’ve loved you for so long, and now finally, we can be together. Just you and me. You don’t have to share me as a secret with Spencer-- I’m all yours.”  
“I don’t want that!” Ryan yelped. “I would never leave Spencer, and the real Brendon would know that!”  
“Have it your way,” Jon said, reaching his hand into the wall and pulling Spencer through. Ryan simply saw this as evidence that whatever was happening was fake, “Hello, Spencer.”  
“What is this place?”  
Suddenly, Jackie’s voice filled the room. “Spence, I’m so glad I found you! Me and Crystal are so happy here! We miss you, come live with us!”  
“It’s a trick, Spencer!” Ryan shouted.  
“I know that, Ryan!” Spencer retorted.  
“It’s not a trick,” Brendon assured them, “We can all be happy together. One big, happy family. Wouldn’t you like that? We’d all have such a lovely time down here.”  
“Okay, we literally know this is a test,” Spencer huffed, “You can’t trick us, and we can kill you like we killed Brent.”  
“Not unless I touch your amulets,” Jon smiled kindly again, “And I know not to do that.”  
“Um, Ryan,” Spencer turned to his friend, “How do we get out of this?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“Well, um, last time you stopped Brent before he could get me,” Spencer explained worriedly, “And then he got zapped by your amulet or whatever. We’re both… we’re both here.”  
“Here with me,” Brendon’s voice corrected from a distance, “Here with me where it’s safe and warm and you don’t have any problems. Isn’t this what you came here for? To be with me?”  
Ryan rolled his eyes. “Actually, Jon, we came here to save Brendon. Get your facts straight.”  
“Why would a demon need to be saved from Hell?”  
Ryan shrugged, wrapping his amulet around his hand and making eye contact with Spencer. Through the optical communication of lifelong friends, Ryan made his plan apparent. Spencer had to admit, it was a pretty good plan. “Jackie, Jackie, can you hear me?” He asked suddenly, watching Jon. He was concentrating hard, with his fingers pressed to his temples.  
“Spence!” Jackie’s voice called. “I’m here!”  
“Um…” he stalled, thinking of something he could say to his obviously fake sister, “Where are you?”  
“I’m here, I’m here waiting for you to--”  
Jackie’s voice stopped dead as Ryan swung a blow at Jon, his fist still wrapped in the necklace. The scene faded, and they were back with Dally in the empty desert. “Wow!” The demon cheered. “Two demons in one day! Well done, Ryan! This is so exciting, don’t you think?”  
“Sure,” Ryan breathed, replacing his amulet around his neck, “But we really should be thanking Brendon."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are lots of spiders in this chapter.

Chapter 4

“So…” Spencer brought his knees closer to his chest. The three of them were sitting on the ground, waiting for their third test. “Are we going to talk about what just happened in the… castle thing?”  
“That was great, man!” Ryan smiled and slugged him in the arm, “The ‘Jackie, Jackie, are you there?’ That was genius, dude! I wasn’t even going to distract him, I was just gonna go for it.”  
“Thanks,” Spencer mumbled, “But I was asking about Jon’s torture methods.”  
“He never tortured us, Spence,” Ryan pointed out. “More like bribing.”  
“Exactly,” Spencer responded, “What was that about? I mean, like, isn’t Hell supposed to be all pools of fire and seeing your family dead and hearing the demon you’re in love with screaming for you?”  
“I’m not in love with Brendon.”  
“Okay, literally, Jon was using him to bribe you.”  
“That doesn’t mean I’m in love with him. Unless you’re in love with Jackie.”  
“That’s different, she wasn’t talking about how it could be just the two of us,” His voice rose into a falsetto, “All alone in this great big castle, without a care in the world!”  
“Gentlemen,” Dally smirked, obviously amused by the argument, “If I may. You see, these tests are less about torturing you and more about… getting you to give in, so to speak.”  
“That’s pretty twisted, but continue,” Spencer was still hugging his knees to his chest.  
“Brent was trying to get you to go mad with emotional torture,” Dally explained, “While Jon was trying to get you to follow him by promising you all sorts of great things. We demons can’t read thoughts, but we can read memories, especially those who guard the gates. They tend to try more… colorful methods later in the testing.”  
“Okay, so, just to clarify,” Spencer huffed, “I saw my family dead, and I heard my sister trying to bribe me into living with Ryan and Brendon in a castle, which, by the way, sounds absolutely awful--”  
“Can you stop with the Brendon stuff?”  
“Let me say my thing, Ryan! But, like, I had to deal with all that, and it gets worse?”  
“Oh, way worse,” Dally smiled, “Especially now that you’re legends. Do you know how satisfying it would be to drive Ryan, Slayer of Brent, absolutely mad? In all honesty, even I’m a bit tempted.”  
“That’s reassuring,” Ryan mumbled, “I’m so glad we decided to travel with you.”  
“I don’t wanna say I told you so,” Spencer smiled slightly, “But, well, I TOLD YOU SO!”  
“When?”  
“Right after you signed your rights away, remember?”  
“I’m just doing what I have to to save Brendon,” Ryan defended, “He needs our help and I’m sure he’d do the same for us.”  
“And you’re absolutely infatuated with him.”  
“You are!”  
“Your mom is!”  
“My mom lives in Los Angeles with some guy she ditched my dad for,” Ryan shot back coldly, “You know, in case you forgot.”  
“Sorry, Ry,” Spencer looked down, “I… I’m sorry.”  
“It’s fine, I get it,” Ryan, too, was looking down, “I shouldn’t have yelled. Sorry for saying you were in love with your sister.”  
“I’m not going to apologize for the Brendon thing, because it’s true.”  
“I know,” Ryan smiled, “What would I do without you, Spence?”  
“Aww, you guys are so cute!” Dally cheered. “I really hope you make it. Like, as much as I wouldn’t mind seeing you fail, I hope you don’t get dismembered and cast into an abyss of eternal torture.”  
“Gee, thanks,” Ryan rolled his eyes while Spencer laughed slightly.   
“Honestly, you’re the cutest friends. I hope if you fail they don’t separate you. Physically or from each other.”  
“Wow, we really picked the nicest possible demon to go with us,” Spencer sighed.  
“I’m complimenting you! Accept my well-wishing!”  
“Okay, okay, chill.”  
Suddenly, as if out of nowhere, there was a loud noise, like the sound of a gunshot, and the ground was crawling with the spindly bodies of a thousand spiders. They began to make their way up Ryan and Spencer’s legs, though they ignored Dally completely. Spencer yelped. “Is this a test?”  
“Do I look like I know?” Ryan was shaking his leg franticly, trying to dislodge the hoard.   
“I’m not looking at you. I’m looking at the spiders crawling all over me.” He yelped again as the first spider found its way to the bare skin of his arm.   
Ryan, in long sleeves, was better off, but not by much. “Just stay very still,” He instructed. “Stop opening your mouth, they might try to crawl in.”  
Spencer made a noise that sounded vaguely like a mouse being stepped on. Ryan quickly rolled the sleeves of his sweatshirt up over his hands as some of the spiders crawled onto the material of his hood. “Wait a minute!” He stuck his arm in the air in an overly comical manner, dislodging some but not many of the spiders. “I’ve got an idea!”  
“Good,” Spencer mumbled as a spider crawled onto his face.  
“Jesus Christ!”  
The spiders stopped moving, Slowly, their frail bodies began to fall to the ground. “Ryan, you’re a genius!” Spencer shook the dead spiders off of his arms and reached over to hug Ryan, who was preoccupied with cleaning them off his sweatshirt.   
“I’m aware,” said Ryan, eventually moving his arms to return his friends hug. They both chose to ignore the crunch of the spider corpses being crushed between them.  
“Yet another test passed by Ryan, slayer of Brent!” Dallon cheered.  
“Not quite,” a feminine voice rang out through the empty space.  
The speaker could only be described as a scene queen. Ryan was a little jealous of her eyeliner skills and the layers in her impressively teased hair, but decided not to mention anything. Her skin was snow white and glittery, much like Dally’s, if a little less reminiscent of Bowie. “I am Jac, third guardian of the gates of Hell, and you killed my spiders.”  
“Yeah, they were in our way,” Ryan spat, “It was the easiest test so far, just so you know.”  
“You should up your game,” Spencer added.  
The demon laughed. “Oh, you boys are so cute,” She cooed falsely. “How old are you? Twelve?”  
“Fourteen,” Spencer hissed. “He’s fifteen.”  
“Oh, my you’re practically grown men,” She rolled her eyes, “I’ve heard very much about you, Ryan, Slayer of Brent-- I suppose that title doesn’t really apply now that you’ve killed Jon as well.”  
“Don’t forget the spiders,” Dally chimed in helpfully.  
The demon growled deep in her throat. “Well, Ryan, Demon Slayer, let’s see what you’ve got.”  
She twirled her finger, and, suddenly, there was a snake curled around her hand. The demon brought her hand closer to Ryan’s face. “This snake is venomous, you know,” she smirked, “I could kill you.”  
“You’re bluffing,” Ryan stood his ground.  
“You sure?”  
“Go ahead,” he taunted, “Do it. Fucking kill me. I dare you.”  
She brought the snake closer and closer to his face, and while Ryan blinked a little, he didn’t flinch. When the snake was only a few centimeters away from his eyes, she drew back, now directing her attention to Spencer. “You’re right, I just couldn’t kill you, demon slayer.” Jac winked at Ryan, raising her eyebrows in a slightly flirtatious manner.  
Spencer closed his eyes, trying to keep his breathing steady as Jac brought the snake to his neck. “If I die, does he pass the test?” He twitched his eyes frantically at Ryan, trying to convey some sort of message. “Like, if you kill me, does he get to go on?”  
Jac smiled a little. “Maybe. Are you willing to concede so your friend can go on? Hmm, you wanna die just so he can abandon you to save some random demon? He doesn’t care about you. All he cares about is Brendon.”  
“Liar!” Ryan stepped forward, startling Jac enough that she lost concentration and the snake disappeared. She turned to stare at him.  
“Oh, so it’s not true? You wouldn’t let him die for you? You’d love it, wouldn’t you, being so damn important that your dearest friend would sacrifice himself for your sins. You’d stay here, find your demon lover, kiss and caress him, forget all about the boy who gave his life for you,” Her voice was almost hypnotic.   
Ryan’s breathing was heavy now; he drew shallow gasps of air in through his mouth. He was seeing red as he charged the demon. “Shut your fucking mouth!”   
He grabbed her by the shoulder and punched her, hard, in the face. “Don’t you ever threaten my friend again, or so help me, I will end you!”  
Jac smirked, reaching her hand in between them and pulling, hard, on Ryan’s necklace. Her skin sizzled and melted, slowly dripping off of her boneless frame as she said her last words, “Good luck without your only weapon, Demon Slayer.”   
Jac disintegrated, pulling the necklace with her. Wherever she had gone, the Ryan’s amulet had followed. “Oh, wow, three demons now!” Dally cheered, breaking the silence. “How fantastic!”  
“She took my necklace,” Ryan breathed, “Brendon gave that to me.”  
“It was also your only form of protection, but, I can see where losing a gift from Brendon would be your main concern,” Spencer smirked, although the look in his eyes was that of pure terror.  
“Shut up, Spence!”  
“Ryan and Brendon, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”  
“They don’t call me Demon Slayer for nothing,” Ryan warned, although he was laughing slightly.  
“First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes… ahh, shit, sex, I guess.”  
“I hate you.”  
“I hate you, too.”


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 5

The next test arrived almost immediately after the one they’d just beaten. Another young woman approached the three of them, smiling pleasantly. She was pretty, and she looked fairly normal for a demon. “Ryan, Slayer of Brent!” She bounced over, stopping when she was facing Ryan. “Your reputation precedes you! I am Keltie, the all-seer!”  
“Cool,” Ryan gulped, obviously vulnerable without his necklace, “It’s… a pleasure to meet you.”  
“It’s impressive, how you killed my allies,” Keltie continued, “I saw it all, of course. I saw how Brent brought it upon himself, how you tricked Jon, how Jac sacrificed her life to make my job easier. You certainly have an impressive resume.”  
“Don’t forget the spiders,” Dally put in, “That really was a clever solution.”   
“I’m not quite sure I care about the spiders,” Keltie giggled, “I care about why you’re here.”  
“We’re here for our friend,” Spencer spoke up, “He’s in trouble, and we’re going to save him!”  
“Aww, that’s so cute, you think Brendon actually needs your help,” Keltie stepped closer to Ryan. “You think he loves you, don’t you? You think he feels anything other than lust for you?”   
She touched his arm gently, and, suddenly, they were in another world. It was a hazy place, an empty white room, where Ryan could hear his own screams and maniacal laughter. “He doesn’t even lust after you in your human way,” Keltie continued talking, “No, he probably just wants to do what everyone else in Hell wants to do. He wants the satisfaction of breaking you. Driving you mad. Driving you to whatever sick, twisted point he’s at.”  
Ryan heard his own pained wail echoing through the room, bouncing off the walls. “You’re here for no reason,” Keltie told him, “Just give in, Ryan. Come on, you know there’s no going back to the Earthplane for you. It’ll be easier if you just let me take you down now; save yourself the trouble. Save Spencer the trouble.”  
“I’m an American,” Ryan spoke suddenly, “Which means that I have certain unalienable rights that cannot be taken away from me no matter where in the world-- or, I guess, the underworld-- I am.”  
“Yes, what does that have to do with anything?”  
“I have a right to filibuster,” he explained, “I can just keep talking and talking, right? I mean, I signed a contract to come to Hell, so I suppose it runs on some kind of legal system and that I can do that. I’m just going to keep running my mouth until I find out how the fuck to kill you.  
“I’m not entirely sure what I want to talk about, but, hey, I guess I’ll make it up as I go along. I’m going to stop this bill from going into law no matter what, except the bill involves me dying so I can’t mess up. Also, for the record, you’re really bad at bribery. Like, do you honestly think I believe you about Brendon ‘lusting’ after me? That’s just ridiculous. Nobody around here really tries.  
“I mean, you’ve all had so many opportunities to kill me and Spence, but you haven’t, because you’re all about tests and games and torture. It’s pointless. Literally, Jac killed herself so that you could--”  
Before Ryan could finish his sentence, he was back in the barren wasteland with Keltie, Dally, and Spencer. He shot his friend a look, instantly conveying what needed to happen. Keltie approached Spencer, who tossed his necklace over Keltie’s head to Ryan, who snapped it up. “Come here and fight like you mean it!” He taunted.  
“I wish we were recording this,” Spencer muttered as Keltie whipped around.  
“I’m not going to fall for it.”  
“Demons are so stupid, oh my God,” Ryan ignored Dally’s protestful noise and tackled Keltie, shoving the pendant into her skin. It didn’t take long for her to melt the way Jac had, oozing into the dry ground of Hell.  
Ryan tossed Spencer his necklace. “Here,” he said, wiping the sweat off his brow. “Four down, one to go.”  
Spencer stared at his best friend in stunned silence. He’d never seen Ryan so angry, so aggressive, so vengeful. Ryan was the type of person who faked an injury and sat out writing in gym class and solved conflicts with blunt words rather than blunt objects. “I know, I’m so excited!” Dally cheered, “You’re a legend! They’ll write books about us! I can see it now-- Ryan, Demon Slayer and his fantastic mentor, Dally Stardust! Oh, and Spencer, too, I guess.”  
“Good to know I’m so important to the story.”  
“Oh, shut up, it’s not like I want to be a demon slayer,” Ryan huffed, “I just fell into this ass-backwards. It’s not my fault I’m so good at killing demons.”  
“Demons like the one you’re in love with?”  
“Can you drop that, please?” Ryan hissed.  
“Unbelievable,” Spencer rolled his eyes.  
“What is?”  
“Gentlemen,” Dally spoke sternly, pushing his sunglasses up on his face. “Pull yourselves together. Now is not the time to be arguing. You may just be the first mortals to enter the demon realm of Hell! You’ll be legends! You already are legends! No matter what happens when you die, what you do in your life, you will have bested every single test they’ve thrown at you! This is so exciting, I can’t believe you’re not happy about this!”  
“Look, I’m just here for Brendon,” Ryan yawned. He hadn’t slept in what felt like years. “I don’t care about tests or legends or rumors or anything! I care that the boy I’m in love with is trapped somewhere, and that he needs my help!”  
“You admitted it.”  
“Yeah, Spence, I admitted it.”  
Spencer smiled. “I’m proud of you.”  
“Thanks, man.”

They’d been waiting for what felt like several hours, writing and drawing in the black sand with their feet and the tips of their fingers. All three of them were ridiculously bored. “I wonder what time it is back home,” Spencer yawned.  
“It’s hard to tell,” Dally dragged his foot boredly through the sand, “Time passes differently in Hell. And demons… demons age differently than humans do.”  
“But Brendon’s our age,” Ryan spoke up, “Like… he’s always been the same age as us.”  
“I doubt it,” said Dally, “And if so, he was probably talking about his physical age, not his maturity level.”  
“What’s that supposed to mean?”  
“Demon’s don’t really have a maturing period,” Dally explained, “We are born, we live, we die, always still as the same being. Our bodies don’t decay, either… we can be killed, but it’s still not the same thing. You see, at the moment of any individual’s death, that person travels to another plane of existence. Humans, normal, non-demon slayer humans, can’t really go between the planes after that, but we can.”  
“What does that even mean?” Spencer demanded.   
“Well, Jac grabbed Ryan’s necklace and it killed her, right?”  
“Yeah, I remember. I was there.”  
“She’s in a different plane now,” Dally spoke slowly, “If and when she gets strong enough, she can come back here and keep doing her job again. She might, too, although the others… it’s rather humiliating to be bested by a mortal. No offense.”  
“Well then, what about Brendon?” Spencer asked, “He ages like that, too? Is he, like… secretly older than us?”  
“It would seem so,” Dally said quietly.  
And then they were quiet again. They stayed quiet until the moment of the fifth and final test. The transition from the desert to what Spencer assumed was the test was blurry-- one minute, they were with Dally, seated on the dusty ground, and the next, they were somewhere else. It might’ve been the castle from the second test, or the white room from the fourth. It could’ve been Spencer’s kitchen as he saw it in the first test, or the school hallway. All of these places seemed to flicker in the background of this new location.  
Something was holding Ryan. It looked, to Spencer, like a storm cloud-- grey and hazy, but vaguely human-shaped. Whatever it was had wrapped itself around Ryan and was talking to him, not loudly, but enough so that Spencer could hear. “You made it!” whatever it was spoke in Brendon’s voice; Spencer would’ve rolled his eyes in a different situation. “Oh, Ryan, you finally came to rescue me!”  
“Brendon?”  
“Yeah, it’s me, I’m so glad you found me.”  
“What about the last test?” Ryan sounded vaguely dazed, his breathing calm and measured.  
“Last test? Ryan, you passed all the tests,” The cloud assured Ryan, “My brave boy, killing all the demons… They’re already talking down here about how great you are.”  
“Ryan, it’s a test,” Spencer yelled.   
Ryan didn’t seem to hear him, as he smiled and nuzzled into the cloud’s embrace. “They’re all so jealous,” the cloud spoke, “So jealous of me, because I have you and they don’t.”  
“I want to see you, Bren.”  
“Not now,” The cloud spoke softly, a tendril reaching forward to brush Ryan’s neck, “I just wanna hold you… I’ve been waiting so long, Ry. I’ve been waiting five years just to touch you, to feel you, to talk to you the way you’ve talked to me.”  
“Ryan, it’s not real!”  
“You’re so beautiful,” Brendon’s voice was surrounding Ryan, as if he were wearing headphones, “And even more beautiful now that you’re here in my arms… I love you so much, Ryan.”  
“Don’t listen to him, it’s not real!” Spencer shouted desperately. “It’s another test, Ryan, it’s just another test!”  
“I’ve loved you for years, you know,” Ryan melted into Brendon’s voice, “I’ve watched you, gotten to know you, and I’ve fallen for you.”  
“He’s lying, Ryan!”  
“I love you, Ryan.”  
“He’s lying to you!”  
“Tell me you love me.”  
“Don’t tell him anything!” Spencer wailed.   
“I love you, Brendon.”  
The cloud wrapped further around Ryan, swirling tendrils of smoky air around his arms, his legs…  
“How much do you love me?”  
“More than anything.”  
“Ryan, stop, it’s not real!”  
“Tell me you belong to me,” Brendon spoke seductively into Ryan’s ear. “Tell me you’re mine.”  
“Ryan, don’t!” Spencer screamed.   
“I’m yours.”  
Ryan and the cloud began to sink down into the ground, and several things happened at once. Spencer rushed forward, wielding his amulet like a real weapon. The cloud tightened its hold around Ryan. “You can look now.”  
Eagerly, Ryan turned around, coming face to face with the cloud of smoke. All he could think to do was scream. “You’re not so smart, are you, Demon Slayer? You’ve failed your fifth--”  
“Back off!” Spencer yelled, tackling the pair of them and swinging the amulet wildly. “You leave Ryan alone!”  
“Foolish mortal, that won’t kill me,” the cloud hissed in a thousand voices and rose. Ryan, still on the ground, began to inch slowly away. “Nothing will kill me! No mortal has ever entered the demon realm, and none ever will! I am a spirit of the smoke, I am connected to the entity of Hell! The flames of my homeland run through my veins!”  
Ryan had curled up in the corner of the room, shivering and making a series of soft, vulnerable noises. “Oh, really?” Spencer stepped closer to the creature.  
“Yes.”  
“Jesus Christ.”  
Lightning flashed across the sky and hit the demon, who yowled and began to slowly dissolve. The walls of the room collapsed around them, and, suddenly, Spencer, Ryan, and Dally were someplace new.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 6  
“Spencer, you did it!” Dally cheered. “You bested the spirit of the smoke! Never has any mortal ever… done anything near as monumental! Just think-- you’ll be in the history books! Forget Ryan, Slayer of Brent, you’re Spencer, Champion of All Hell!”   
“G-good job…. Man,” Ryan mumbled, struggling to stand up.  
“Are you okay?”  
“Fine,” said Ryan meekly. “I-I’m fine.” He was shivering, and still appeared to be having trouble standing.  
“You don’t look fine,” Dally pointed out the obvious.   
“Well, I…am.”  
Spencer eventually pulled Ryan to his feet. He seemed lighter than normal-- perhaps people only seem heavy when they’re pinning you to the wrestling mat. “We made it!” Dally repeated. “Look, isn’t it beautiful?”  
They were in what appeared to be a town square. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky, flowers were in bloom, and the cobblestone street was lined with quaint little houses. All kinds of different demons stared at the trio from their windows and doorways. “This is Hell?”  
“Oh, nobody likes that sandy desert stuff,” Dally giggled.  
“W--why do you l-l-live in V-ve-v-vegas, then?” Ryan’s thin frame was shaking at an alarming rate; the pigment drained from his skin at a speed even more horrendous.   
“Are you sure you’re alright?”  
“Congratulations, mortals!” A young woman approached them. She looked to be a few years older than Ryan and Spencer. “Welcome to Hell, Ryan, Slayer of Brent, and Spencer, Champion of the Underworld! We’ll provide you with all your basic human necessities during your stay here, of course.”  
“Bed,” Ryan mumbled, “Need a bed.”  
The young woman laughed. “I am Z; I’ve been entrusted with keeping the pair of you safe.”  
“Bed,” Ryan repeated, stumbling as he tried to walk forward.   
Spencer caught him, eventually settling on lifting Ryan up bridal style. Someone who was 5’9” shouldn’t have weighed so little, even if Ryan was a little thin. “I think something’s wrong.”  
“What happened?” Z asked, laying a hand on Spencer’s arm.  
“I don’t-- there was the smoke spirit… and… I killed it, but he sort of said he belonged to it,” Spencer’s voice went up at the end like he was asking a question.  
“Oh my,” Z’s pastel blue skin went a shade paler. “That’s… wow. That’s never happened before.”  
“What’s never happened before?” Spencer demanded.   
“Well,” Z explained, her voice a little shaky, “Um, well, he technically failed his fifth test, condemning his soul to eternal torment. Usually when that happens, the person who lost their soul would, like, physically… I’m not good at explaining things.”  
“If I may,” Dally interjected, “No mortal’s physical body could exist in the Eight Levels of Dante’s inferno. Remember, that’s a place for tortured souls. Usually when mortals die only their souls pass through to the next life. However, if a mortal were to fail a test, they would be taken into the level corresponding with their sins in life, and their body would dissolve upon entry.”  
“So… what does that have to do with Ryan? He passed all the tests, and he didn’t get taken anywhere.”  
“Because you stopped him,” Dally’s smile was a little too cheerful given the situation. “He’d already pledged his soul to that demon.”  
“So…”  
“Ryan’s soul is… how do I say this without upsetting you… slowly draining out of his body and into the mortals’ realm, where he’ll be tortured for the rest of time. But at least you made it!”  
“Need to sleep,” Ryan mumbled, resting his head on Spencer’s shoulder, “Gotta go to sleep.”  
“No, you’ve gotta stay awake,” Z poked Ryan in the arm. “If he goes to sleep, he could die.”  
“If he stays awake he’ll die,” Dally put in, “Really, he’ll die no matter what he does.”  
“How do I stop it?”  
“What?”  
“I’m not about to let my best friend die,” Spencer hissed. “How do I stop it?”  
“Nobody’s ever--”  
“I don’t care! Nobody’s ever passed the fifth test, either!” Ryan should’ve felt heavier after Spencer had been holding him for so long, but, if anything, he felt lighter. “I don’t care what you have to do. Help me help him.”  
Z smiled slightly. “Okay, I’ll see what I can do.”  
She gestured at the house from which she had come. “Set him down on the bed in there. Stay with him-- make sure to keep him awake. I’ll fix him a tonic-- it should sustain him for a while, but after that… after that, I’m not sure.”  
Shaking slightly, Spencer complied, allowing Ryan to drop from his arms onto the bed. He was light, folding like a ribbon as he cascaded onto the starchy sheets. “Spence…” Ryan’s voice was soft and hoarse.   
“Ry.”  
“I’m dying, aren’t I?”  
“It… it seems like you are,” Spencer managed, “I’m sorry, I should’ve stopped it sooner. I shouldn’t have let you-- I thought-- I don’t know what I thought. I’m so sorry.”  
“It’s… my fault… I…”  
“Don’t blame yourself,” Spencer instructed, “Okay, just… it’s okay. We’re okay. Today is October 31st, 2001, and tomorrow is going to be November 1st. We’re going to wake up in your room, it’ll be Sunday, and we’ll play video games all day and laugh about the funny dream we both had.  
“We’ll never play with a ouija board again, and on Monday, when we go to school, you’ll meet this guy,” Spencer didn’t know if he was saying these things for himself or for Ryan, but it was calming for both of them. “He’ll be just like how you imagined Brendon, and you’ll realize that you’ve seen him in the halls before. You’ll realize that this whole thing has just been projection, and that for the past four years you’ve been in love with some guy from school!  
“And I’ll laugh, I’ll tell you, ‘Ryan, that’s stupid. Ryan, you beautiful idiot, just ask him out already!’ And you will, and of course he’ll say yes, and you’ll both be so, so happy. He’ll have this friend in my grade, and she’ll be, like, totally cool, and she’ll love video games and hate spiders--” Ryan laughed at this, still shivering slightly, “-- And the four of us will go on double dates, like, every week, and we’ll have a grand old time together. You’ll write novels, Ry, about our really vivid Hell dream. You’ll be a best-selling author, you’ll get so many scholarships, you’ll make something of yourself. You can’t die, Ryan, because if you die, that doesn’t happen.”  
Spencer didn’t realize he was crying until he noticed his tears dripping onto the blankets surrounding Ryan. “That was… wow,” Z sat down beside them, holding a bowl of something.   
“What is that?”  
“This? Tonic. It’s… it’s meant for a different use, but… it restores the soul, at least temporarily.”  
“Any side effects?”   
“It wears off,” she said gravely, “The body develops a tolerance. If he takes this now, he won’t be able to take it again.”  
“I understand.”  
Slowly, gently, Z poured the bowl of glittery blue stuff down Ryan’s throat, softly stroking his hair with her other hand. “You feeling any better, Ry?”  
“I guess so,” Ryan had stopped shaking, and the color was slowly returning to his skin. “Is that what souls taste like? Because if so, they’re disgusting. Also, there’s too many blankets on me; I’m hot. Stop touching my hair! Where’s Brendon, anyway?”  
“He’s fine,” Spencer assured Z, “And we don’t know where Brendon is. We were all a little bit preoccupied with you being dead for the second time today!”  
“I’ve never been dead in my life.”  
“No, because I saved you both times.”  
“How did you save me before?” Ryan asked, pushing the starchy white covers off of his sweaty chest. “You just cried over me and pulled me out of the tub. That’s not saving me.”  
“Fine, then, I won’t next time.”  
“About that…” Ryan, having just recovered from his malady, was jumping up and walking rather quickly toward the door. “Why did I pass out when I saw Brendon? I mean, like, nothing happened when I saw Dally or Brent or Jon or Jac or Keltie or the smoke thing or Z.”  
“You passed out?” Z sounded intrigued, “That must mean… wait… was this in your world?” Ryan and Spencer both nodded. “You must’ve… he… oh, wow!”  
“What, what’s going on?” Ryan demanded.  
Z stood, and Spencer followed awkwardly. “You must’ve witnessed, like, an exorcism,” She pushed her cropped blonde hair out of her face. “That’s so cool! I mean, it’s not cool for Brendon, but… wow.”  
“An exorcism?” Spencer raised his eyebrows. “Like, someone--”  
“Banished him to Hell. Yeah.”  
“Holy-- Where is he, then?”  
“Somewhere you really don’t wanna go,” Z slung a backpack over her shoulder, “Come on. One of you find Dally; we’re about to break every rule in the book.”


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 7  
“He’s down there?” Ryan peered over the edge of the chasm, a slightly worried look on his face.   
“That’s where banished demons go,” Z explained plainly, “You know, the kinds of demons who set themselves up in the mortal world and advertise their presence with a neon sign.”  
“Gotta make a living somehow,” Dally shrugged.   
“I suppose,” Z responded, pulling a length of rope out of her bag. “Now, um, here’s the… not so fun part of the plan. We’ve gotta… send someone down.”  
“I’ll go,” Ryan turned around from the edge.   
“No you won’t,” Spencer stepped in between Ryan and Z, “If the tonic wears off--”  
“I’m going,” Ryan reached around Spencer and accepted the rope from Z, “I’m the smallest, anyway-- none of you guys will fit. Plus, it was my idea to come here. I’m not letting you die for me, and Brendon wouldn’t want you to die for him.”  
“Dally?” Spencer asked, a worried look on his face. “Z? Come on guys, you can’t honestly think it’s a good idea for someone who literally just left death’s doorstep to--”  
“He’s got a point,” Z replied, “I mean, he is the smallest of us, and Dally and I… if we went down there, we wouldn’t be able to get back out.”  
“So demons can’t escape? Then why are we trying to save Brendon?”  
“Think of it this way,” Dally piped in, “It’s like we’re wearing lead boots and trying to go under water. We’re going to sink, right? But if someone could carry us out…”  
“They’d sink, too.”  
“This is where it gets different.”  
“So…” Spencer sighed loudly, “Just to be clear… we’re sending Ryan, who just narrowly escaped death and is only currently alive because of some very strong magic-y Hell drugs, down an abyss filled with literal demons, who are so dangerous that they were banished from earth, so that he, who can’t lift me, for Christ’s sake--” the ground rumbled a little and Spencer’s utterance, “-- can carry Brendon, another dangerous demon, out of the abyss?”  
“You’ve got it!” Dally cheered.  
“He’ll die.”  
“I’ve already died twice today, right?” Ryan tied the rope around his waist with a cocky smirk. “I think I can handle it.”  
Spencer made a loud exasperated noise. “Ryan, you idiot, you’re going to get yourself killed!”  
“Or I’m going to save someone’s life!” Ryan countered. “Brendon is in danger, and this is the only way to save him. We can keep arguing until the tonic wears off and I die anyway, or you can hug me, bro, in case we never see each other again.”  
“That’s not the only reason for two bros to hug,” Spencer gave Ryan a quick squeeze before checking the knot on his belt and handing him the one remaining protective amulet. “You need it more than I do.”  
“Thanks, man,” Ryan put the necklace around his neck. “Someone grab the rope before I jump.”

 

The abyss was nothing like what Ryan had expected. There were no jagged rocks sticking out or pools of fire sizzling on the ground. Instead, the walls of the pit were lined with balconies which looked like they lead into apartments. Demons in various period outfits watered plants or sunbathed; several nodded or waved at Ryan as he hurdled past them. Spencer certainly wasn’t lowering him gently.  
It occurred to Ryan that he not only had no way to find Brendon quickly, he was also unable to contact Spencer, Dally, and Z to tell them to either to pull him back up or to stop letting him fall. They really should’ve thought this through. “Shit,” he mumbled.  
He could hear Spencer’s voice in his head, saying, “I told you so”-- whether this was imagined or some form of telepathic communication, Ryan had no idea, but he decided that it probably wouldn’t hurt to answer.   
“Shut up, Spence.”  
No answer. Ryan was most definitely going crazy. After a time of unrestrained falling, Ryan reached the ground. Several demons gave him confused stares. “Ryan.”  
Shit! Ryan spun around as best he could while still attached to the rope and found himself face to face with every demon he’d killed that night. Lovely. “Hey, guys.” If he made it out alive, he was going to have a serious conversation with Z about the virtues of planning ahead.  
“You shouldn’t be here,” Keltie smiled falsely at him, revealing an array of sharp, pointed teeth in several rows, like a shark’s. “You should be dead.”  
“Yeah, I should, but I’m not,” Ryan huffed, “You haven’t seen Brendon, have you?”  
“Seen him?” Jac sneered, “Well, of course we’ve seen him.”  
Ryan glared at her. “What the fuck did you do?”  
“Do? We didn’t do anything,” Brent was suddenly behind Ryan, a hand resting on his shoulder, “How’s Spencer? Still crying about his poor sisters?”  
Ryan jerked away from the demon and backed up slightly. “Look, I don’t want any trouble here.”  
“Well, of course not,” Jon stepped closer to Ryan, “But we do.”  
Ryan mumbled a string of curse words under his breath. “I’m kinda getting tired of killing you guys.”  
It dawned on Ryan that he would be fighting four demons at once, after having been significantly weakened by the whole thing where his soul was drained out of his body. Before he could do anything even remotely violent, Brent had picked him up, and he found himself kicking and punching at the demon to no avail. “Not so lucky now, eh?”  
“What are you even going to do to me?” Ryan demanded, “I mean, you guys can’t… well, you can’t, like, send me to the Eight Levels or whatever, can you?”  
“See, I told you he was clever,” Jon told his friends matter-of-factly. “But none of you believed me.”  
“In our defense, he did pledge his soul to eternal damnation,” Jac retorted.  
“Don’t worry, honey, we won’t damn you,” Keltie assured Ryan, “You’re right, you see, we can’t. But we can carve out each of your organs one by one and watch your physical body deteriorate until there’s nothing left and your soul will go to its rightful place.”  
“Excuse me, but that happens to be against the rules,” a voice boomed from behind them, “Damning someone upon the moment of their death is perfectly lawful. Any attempt to hasten the process of an individual’s demise by magical or physical means, however, is not.”  
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Brent hissed, “He failed the last test! He deserves to be tortured for the rest of eternity! That’s how it works; he doesn’t get special treatment just because some sellout novelty demon has taken a shine to him!”  
“Actually, yes, he does,” the voice returned, this time accompanied by a short man with slicked-back dark hair and large, unflattering glasses. “Ryan here signed a contract guaranteeing his safe passage to Hell. That officially makes him a tourist and not a target.”  
“What? That doesn’t--” Before Brent could finish his sentence, the man was punching him square in the jaw and kicking Jac in the stomach simultaneously. He spun around on the toes of one foot like a ballerina before doing a midair flip and hitting both Keltie and Jon in the face with his feet.  
“Let’s go,” the man began untying the rope around Ryan’s waist, “We don’t have much time.”  
“No, I need to--”  
“You need to come with me,” the man argued, pinning Ryan’s arms to his sides. “PATRICK!”  
“Yeah, yeah, one sec,” Came a voice, which Ryan realized was being broadcast from the pocket radio on the man’s belt. Before he could think anything else, Ryan blacked out.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 8  
When Ryan woke up, he was lying on a couch covered in blankets and being prodded at by two men wearing suits, one of whom he recognized from the abyss. “Where am I?”  
“Las Vegas, Nevada,” the one with the long hair and sideburns told him, “November 1st, 2001. It’s about 3pm, and you, Ryan, have just been reported missing.”  
“Where’s Spencer?”  
“Unfortunately, he’s still… he’s still in Hell,” the man who’d been in the abyss replied, “You’re lucky Patrick and I saved you when we did. You’d have been toast. I’m Pete, by the way.”  
“Cool,” Ryan pushed the blankets off of himself, “I need to get back there.”  
“Why?” Patrick demanded. “You’re safe. We saved you.”  
“Well, number one,” Ryan searched the floor for his shoes, which seemed to have been taken from him, “My best friend is still there, and I’m not about to just leave him. And number two, I didn’t just kill four demons and almost die myself to not be able to do what I came for.”  
“Ah,” Pete moved between Ryan and the door. “I’m afraid we can’t let that happen, Ryan.”  
“What do you mean?”   
“We banished that demon for a reason,” Patrick replied cryptically.   
“You-- but--” Ryan scanned the room for an exit.  
“We’re going to take you home now,” said Pete, “Patrick, start the car. Meet us outside,” Patrick scurried off, presumably to follow these instructions. “Now, Ryan, we can do this the easy way or the hard way.”  
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Ryan demanded. “You want me to go home? Home to my abusive father? What, and leave Spencer and Brendon, the only friends I’ve ever had, alone in the underworld? Who knows what those demons were doing to Brendon?”  
“Hard way, then.”  
“Answer me!” Ryan screamed backing toward the couch. “Answer me, you coward!”  
“Whatever is happening to that demon is one hundred per-cent warranted. He was terrorizing and manipulating minors.”  
“No he wasn’t!”  
Pete stepped closer to Ryan. “I don’t want to have to do this.”  
“Good, then back the fuck--”  
Ryan was cut off by Pete’s hand gently brushing his forehead. Suddenly, the world faded, and Ryan welcomed the darkness of sleep.

 

When he woke up in the hospital, the first thing Ryan noticed were Spencer’s parents, sisters, and grandmother gathered around his bed. His own father was nowhere to be seen. “Oh, Ryan, thank God you’re alright!” Mrs. Smith gushed, attempting to hug Ryan through the maze of tubes and wires attached to him. “Do you remember anything?”  
“I--” Ryan thought it best not to tell the Smiths that their son was in Hell. “No.”  
“A… few days ago,” she began, “We… we went over to your house, because it was late afternoon, and Spencer… he hadn’t come home yet. When we got there, your dad… your father was watching TV, and so… we went upstairs…” She stopped momentarily to compose herself. “We… they found your blood in the bathroom, not much, but… your bedroom window was smashed, and the bathroom mirror. We couldn’t find your overnight stuff or Spencer’s anywhere.”  
“We reported you missing,” Spencer’s father said gravely, “And told the police about your dad. He was yelling when they brought him in, calling you all sorts of names-- why didn’t you tell us, Ryan? We’d have taken you in so much sooner.”  
“He was terrified, of course,” Mrs. Smith defended. “We… well, we looked everywhere for you. Someone had stolen Grandma’s car, too… and, then, that day, we got home and found you… outside, in a sweatshirt and jeans, no shoes or socks.”  
“What about Spencer?” Ryan asked quietly. “Is he…”  
“We don’t know.” Jackie said quietly. “We don’t know anything.”  
“You’re lucky to be alive,” Mrs. Smith patted Ryan on the head, “Now, do you remember anything at all about… about what might’ve happened?”  
Ryan considered this. They wouldn’t believe him if he told them where Spencer was, and if he made up a story it would probably just make everything worse. “Spencer and I… we snuck out,” Ryan recalled, “On Halloween night. We… we wanted to do something spooky, you know? So we… we went to Grandma Smith’s house, and… and we went on her computer. We… we found like… this psychic, and we… we stole the car.   
“The next thing I remember, I woke up--I don’t know what day. I was in a house, or an apartment, or something… I was on a couch, with blankets. There were these two men… one was Pete, and the other was Patrick. They… they said they were going to bring me home. I--- I asked them about Spencer, and they said… they wouldn’t let me see him. Then, one of them, Pete-- I don’t know if these are their real names-- did something, and I woke up again here.”  
“The doctors found chloroform in your system,” Mr. Smith gulped loudly.   
“We have to find Spencer,” Ryan started trying to pull the feeding tube out of his nose, “We have to… we need the computer. If we can see what we searched, we might be able to find the car. And… maybe… we could find the kidnapper.”  
“I’m not pleased with you,” Mrs. Smith admitted, “But, I think you may be onto something. I’ll call the police and see if we can get you checked out of here-- we probably can, as all that’s wrong with you is a cold from being outside for who knows how long.”

“Hasn’t… hasn’t Ryan been down there a while?” Spencer gulped.  
“Oh, he has, hasn’t he?” Dally was picking at his nails. “Perhaps we should pull him back up, just to make sure he’s still alive.”  
“Good idea,” Z agreed, pulling on the rope, “Wow, Ryan’s light.”  
“How light?” Spencer snapped to attention, “Like, losing-his-soul light?”  
“Nope,” she responded worriedly as she pulled the rest of the rope out of the pit, “Like, not-attached-to-this-rope light.”  
“Ugh, I told you this would happen!” Spencer exclaimed, wrenching the rope from Z’s grip. “I told you, and none of you listened to me! Jesus Christ, it’s like trying to reason with three Ryans!” The ground rumbled at his holy utterance, but Spencer couldn’t care less. “I’m going down there, and I’m saving Ryan. I don’t care if we save Brendon anymore! This is the third time today Ryan has nearly died because of that goddamn ouija board!” He tied the rope around his waist and jumped, leaving Dally and Z to scramble for a grip on the other end.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 9  
Ryan fiddled with his thumbs as they pulled into the parking lot of Dally Stardust’s Netherworld Portal. Spencer’s grandma’s car sat abandoned in the corner of the lot, just where they’d left it the week before. It had been a week. Spencer had been in Hell for a week. “Wait in the car, okay, kids?” Mrs. Smith leaned into the backseat. “Officer Kenny will be right outside the car, okay?”  
“Yeah, okay,” Jackie bit nervously on her bottom lip as the two police officers who’d come with them to the scene left their car. As promised, Officer Kenny stationed himself outside the passenger door of the car, gun raised.   
The Smiths hadn’t been inside for five minutes when Breezy began to approach the car. “Ma’am,” Ryan heard Officer Kenny say, “Put your hands on your head, you’re under arrest for the kidnapping of--”  
An elastic arm reached, at a speed similar to that at which light travels, over and hit the policeman square in the jaw, and Breezy rushed over to the car, her high heels clicking on the asphalt of the parking lot. “Mom--” Crystal started to yelp, but Ryan put a hand over her mouth and shot a warning look at Jackie. Something told him that this was going to be an important conversation.  
“How’d you do that?” Ryan demanded, opening the car door.  
“I am a demon, you know,” the young woman replied, smirking, “Before you ask, no, they haven’t returned yet.”  
“Shit,” Ryan mumbled. Crystal and Jackie were speechless with terror. “Okay, um, I have a plan.”  
“Yes?”  
“I need you to do an exorcism,” Ryan took his hand off Crystal’s mouth and shot her an apologetic look. “Send me to the abyss, you know, with the banished demons?”  
“Them, too?”  
“No.”  
“Um, yes!” Jackie put in. “You’re saving Spencer, aren’t you? I want to help.”  
“We want to help,” Crystal corrected shakily.   
“No, absolutely not,” Ryan argued, “Do you know how angry your brother would be if I let you do that? He’d kill me.”  
“I’ll tell Mom,” Jackie warned. “You lied, right? You know where Spencer is.”  
“I’d love for this amusing argument to continue,” Breezy leaned closer to the car, “But we really don’t have much time.”  
“Good, send me to Hell.”  
“Alright,” Breezy smirked. “Soulless spawn of Lucifer, cursed child of the flame, Ryan, I banish thee!”  
The world spun, the car spun, Ryan’s vision spun. When the spinning stopped, he was standing on the bottom of the pit again, although it was, for some reason, much less populated than it had been. “Spencer!” Ryan called. “Brendon!”  
“Ryan.”  
“Brendon?” Ryan nearly jumped out of his skin as he turned around in search of the demon. “Brendon, is it really you?”  
“Yeah, it’s me.”  
He sounded sad. “Can you… can you come out where I can see you? I’ve been tricked before.”  
“You don’t… you don’t want to see me,” Brendon assured him, “I’m hideous, Ryan. If you saw me, you’d probably get sick.”  
“That’s ridiculous! Please, Brendon,” Ryan pleaded, “I came here to save you, didn’t I? You’re my friend, I don’t care what you look like.”  
A shadowy figure descended upon Ryan. He could make out the vague outline of a pair of large horns protruding from the figure’s head. When the demon came into the light, Ryan didn’t hesitate in embracing him. “You don’t look that bad.”  
“I’m literally blue,” Brendon argued. “I have yellow eyes and horns. You don’t have to be nice to me, Ryan.”  
“I’ve waited so long to hear your voice,” Ryan nestled his face into Brendon’s chest. “You don’t even know…”  
“Mmm,” Brendon hummed, stroking Ryan’s hair, “I’ve waited even longer to hold you.”  
“We have to find Spencer,” Ryan declared, gently pulling away from Brendon, “It’s the least we can do for him, isn’t it? Have you seen him?”  
“He found me,” Brendon explained, “He asked if I’d seen you, and when I said I hadn’t… we went to look for you. We ran into the… the guards… they took him, just before you got here, I don’t know where. And, naturally, everyone’s terrified of them, so the square cleared out pretty quickly.”  
“It’s me they want,” Ryan scanned the floor of the pit, his eyes eventually settling on the abandoned rope that had been tied around Spencer’s waist. “I have an idea. You wait here.”  
Before Brendon could protest, Ryan was climbing the balconies of the lower apartments, peeking into the rooms. “Cowards!” he taunted. “It is I, Ryan, Demon Slayer! Guess who I have come to slay?” No answer. “The monsters torturing my friend!” Still no answer. “Bastards! Are you honestly that fucking afraid of me? I’m right here… honestly, I could probably cream all four of you! Oh, wait, I already did!”  
“Stop your yelling and fight like a man,” Brent appeared on a nearby balcony and jumped down to the level on which Ryan was standing.   
“It would be my honor,” Ryan swung a punch at Brent, who dodged it and rolled along the balcony.   
Ryan took this opportunity to leap to the next level, clinging to the railing of the balcony and heaving himself over. Brent picked himself up and followed, a little too close for Ryan’s liking. Forcefully, he pressed his foot down on the demon’s head, dislodging him from the building. Not looking back, Ryan proceeded to climb and continued to yell. “One down, three to go! Come out and fight me, cowards!”  
“RYAN!” Spencer screamed, loudly, from inside the apartment. “Help, Ryan, pl-” He was cut off by some unseen force, and his screams were replaced with barely-audible muffled wails.   
Without thinking, Ryan body-slammed the glass door of the apartment, sending shards everywhere. He didn’t even check to see if it was locked first. “Finally,” Jon blocked the only hallway leading from the main room. “We were just getting started.”  
“Move,” Ryan ordered, wasting no time on pleasantries. “Move, or I’ll send you further into Hell.” He removed his amulet and swung it at the demon.  
“That wasn’t very--” The amulet hit him in the forehead, and while he didn’t disintegrate like last time, he was knocked unconscious.   
Ryan stepped past him and into the hallway, following muffled, demonic laughter which he assumed was coming from Jac and Keltie. He reached a door, and, without hesitation, kicked it down. Ryan had read an article once about how in dire situations, people could develop weird, seemingly impossible strength, and that was definitely holding true. The door opened to a small room, barely more than a closet. Jac, Keltie, and Spencer seemed to be engaged in some sort of knife fight, which Spencer was losing. This, Ryan assumed, was due to the fact that he didn’t have knife. “Jesus, finally,” Spencer hissed, punching Jac in the stomach. “A little help?”  
“Yep,” Ryan pulled Keltie off of Spencer’s back and whacked her over the head with the amulet. She was out cold in an instant. “This is too easy.”  
He tossed the amulet to Spencer, who wrapped the chain around Jac’s hand. “That’s for the spiders,” He stomped, hard, on her foot. “That’s for trying to kill me twice,” He then let her fall, ungracefully, to the floor. “And that’s for trying to hurt my friend.”  
Spencer then leaped over the unconscious demons and embraced Ryan. “Oh my God, Ry, I was so worried! I thought they’d killed you or something! What happened?”  
“It’s a long story,” Ryan breathed. “Let’s just get Brendon out of the pit and get home.”

 

“Wow, you guys were down there a long time,” Z commented as Spencer heaved the rope up, “But you found Brendon?”  
“Yeah,” Spencer huffed. Ryan and Brendon together were ridiculously heavy.   
“I’m glad,” said Dally, “Where was Ryan.”  
“He won’t tell me.”  
“Sounds like him.”  
“Je-- um, Oh my God!” Ryan helped Brendon climb over the edge of the chasm and then pulled himself up. “You guys are so unattentive! How long did it take you to realize I wasn’t down there anymore? Did you even notice Spencer getting kidnapped?”  
“You got kidnapped?” Dally asked excitedly, “By the guards? Did you kill them?”   
“They’re already as dead as they get,” Spencer huffed, “And thanks for all your help.”  
“Speaking of,” Brendon put his arm around Ryan, “Thanks… thanks guys.”  
“You’re welcome, man,” Ryan nuzzled into Brendon’s side, “It was the least we could do.”  
He was covered in sweat, perhaps too much for having been dragged out of an abyss, and he was starting to go pale again. “How long has it been?” Spencer asked abruptly. “How long has it been since he had the tonic?”  
“What tonic?” Brendon demanded.  
“I dunno, how long were you guys down there?” Z asked, ignoring Brendon. “Better move him away from the edge, just to be safe.”  
“What’s going on?” Brendon demanded.  
“Ryan’s soul is slowly draining out of his body,” Dally explained, “I’m Dally Stardust, by the way-- it’s a pleasure to meet you.”  
“No, guys, I’m fine,” Ryan’s voice seemed a degree softer than it usually was.   
“Shit,” Spencer mumbled, “Fuck, what’re we gonna do? Z, you said-- you said he’d die if… when… fuck, what’s gonna happen to him?”  
“He pledged his soul to eternal torture,” Dally explained, “So it’s most likely that he’s going to be tortured for the rest of eternity. Just a guess.”  
“Now is not the time to be cocky!”  
“Wait, his soul?” Brendon asked. “Just his soul?”  
“Yeah, just his soul, the reason he’s alive,” Spencer huffed. “Good to see you care.”  
“I don’t have a soul,” Brendon pointed out. He gestured at Dally and Z, “They don’t have souls. We’re alive.”  
“What’re you saying?”  
“I have to become a demon,” Ryan realized, “Shit, how’re we gonna…”  
“We need magic,” Brendon declared, “Take us back to the Earthplane. Now, or do you want Ryan to die?”  
“Okay, okay,” said Dally, “Will you be joining us Z?”  
“Yes, of course I’ll be joining you,” Z grabbed Dally’s wrist in her right hand and Ryan’s in her left, “I’ve come this far, haven’t I?”  
“Oh, that reminds me,” Ryan mumbled weakly as Brendon’s hand found its way to his wrist, “I think Breezy might be in jail.”  
“When did this happen?” Dally demanded.  
“When I was on the Earthplane.”  
“When were you on the Earthplane?”  
“Dally, do the spell or I will!” Brendon yelled, wrapping his other hand around Dally’s unoccupied wrist. “Spencer, get in the circle or Ryan is going to die!”  
“That’s what I’ve been telling these nerds for hours!” Spencer exclaimed, complying. The five of them stood, hands clasped, in a circle.   
“Oh Earthplane, mortal realm, never-ending purgatory,” Dally shouted at the sky, “Let us in!”


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 10  
“Huh,” said Brendon, dusting his jeans off. “I’ve never seen a portal opened like that. Don’t you usually just… conjure it open, and then it’s open?”  
“What can I say, I’m a showman,” Dally shrugged.   
They were, for some unfathomable reason, in Spencer’s backyard. “Just so you know, Spence,” Ryan mumbled, “I told your mom… I told her we snuck out and someone kidnapped us. Don’t tell her anything about Hell.”  
“When did you see my mom?”  
“When I was here before,” He rested his head on Brendon’s shoulder, “I’m tired.”  
“I know, you’re dying again,” Dally patted Ryan’s hair, while Spencer and Brendon glared at him. “What? It’s the truth!”  
“Okay, here’s the plan,” said Spencer, “I’m going to take Ryan into the house and say he’s been drugged. Dally, go across the street to Ryan’s house and take his bike; his dad won’t notice. Go to the portal and see what’s going on; we’ll meet you there when we can. Uh, Z, you go with him, take my skateboard. Brendon… go hide in the bushes. When we get up to my room we’ll help you climb in, but until then, you need to stay hidden. Got it?”  
“Yes, sir!” Brendon saluted sarcastically but retreated to the bushes as Dally and Z scurried off to follow their instructions. It occurred to Spencer that he’d just told Z to skateboard to Las Vegas, but he figured that the demons weren’t actually going to use his suggested mode of travel.  
“Spence,” Ryan whined, “I’m so tired. Can we go inside now?”  
“Yeah,” Spencer lifted his friend up, “Let me carry you, though. I don’t want you hurting yourself.”  
He walked, carrying Ryan, to the back door, on which he knocked several times in rapid succession. Mrs. Smith answered almost immediately. “Spencer!” She cried. “Ryan! You-- we were so--”  
“Mom, I love you, it’s nice to see you, but Ryan’s really sick,” Spencer pushed past his mother and sisters, who had gathered behind the door, not stopping until he’d set Ryan down on his bed, “You’ll need to… um… call the doctor, but he needs food, too. Make him something to eat first,” he hoped this would buy them some time to find someone to help them and actually cast whatever spell needed to be cast on Ryan. “I think he just needs meds, but… he hardly weighs anything, Mom, he hasn’t eaten since… since he got back.”  
“Okay,” Mrs. Smith replied gravely, ushering Jackie and Crystal out of Spencer’s room and closing the door behind her. Nobody needed to tell her that her son wanted some time alone with his best friend.   
“Fuck,” Spencer mumbled. “Ry, you with me?”  
“Hi,” Ryan mumbled, trying to reach for non-existent covers, “I’m cold.”  
“Don’t go to sleep,” Spencer ordered, hastily throwing the window open and waving his hand at Brendon. He hoped the demon could climb a tree.  
“But I’m tired,” Ryan whined. He was barely conscious.   
“Get me the phone book,” Brendon ordered without preamble as he entered the room, “No, get me a computer.”  
“I don’t just have one on me!”  
“Is there one in this house?” Brendon asked.   
“Yes, but how are we going to--”  
“Disconnect the phone line,” Ryan mumbled.   
“What, how would-- wait a minute!” Spencer handed Brendon his bedroom line. “When my mom starts talking, you talk back, okay?”  
He didn’t wait for an answer as he rushed to the computer room, where the only other phone was. Mrs. Smith had been in the kitchen, putting some soup or something on the stove, but Spencer could hear her footsteps slowly approaching. As fast as he could, he dove under the table and started connecting and reconnecting wires. He’d done this before, at Ryan’s house, on a number of occasions. It was quite simple, really-- all he needed to do was disconnect the phone line but leave it connected to the other lines in the house.   
When Spencer completed this task, he jogged down the hall and returned to his room, shutting the door gently behind him, just before his mother reached the summit of the stairs. Brendon had the phone to his ear, and Ryan was curled up next to him, a slightly glazed look in his eyes. “Yes, this is the Summerlin Hospital, Doctor… Z Star speaking,” Brendon said into the phone in a fake nasal-y voice. He paused. “Oh, that’s horrendous! We’ll send someone straight away! What’s your address, ma’am?” He paused again. “Fantastic. Someone will be right over!”  
He then proceeded to hang up.  
“Nice one, Demon Slayer,” Spencer slugged Ryan gently in the arm, “That idea saved us all.”  
“Demon Slayer, I like that,” Ryan sighed and smiled, rolling over onto his side.  
Spencer rummaged through his closet, eventually finding what he was looking for and handing it to Brendon. “Change into these,” he ordered, “And…” he rummaged some more, “Here’s a hat. I’m not sure what we’ll do about the eyes.”  
Brendon was already changing into the scrubs that Spencer had worn on career day when he’d shadowed a doctor at the hospital, not caring that Ryan and Spencer could totally see him. “Sunglasses?”  
“Sunglasses!” Spencer declared, finding a pair of aviators from the bottom of his closet. “Ry, we’re using your glasses, do you mind?”  
“Whatever,” Ryan mumbled. He hadn’t been listening to the conversation.  
Brendon slipped the glasses on. “What do you want me to do?”  
“Create a diversion,” Spencer instructed, “Wait a few minutes and go ring the bell. Make sure my mom doesn’t go into the computer room. I’ll bring Ryan down for you, you pretend to examine him and tell her he’s sleep deprived and malnourished, and he just needs rest and some broth for right now. Help her move him into the guest room and tell her not to bother him. I’ll go on the computer and find someone who can help us. When you leave, come back up here. I’m going to go find the person and Dally and Z, and you can stay here and make sure Ryan doesn’t go to sleep. Oh, shit, I just realized you’re blue!”  
He walked over to his dresser, throwing Brendon a tube of Ryan’s foundation. “Put this on and then come in, got it?”  
“Aye-aye, captain!”

 

About an hour later, when Spencer returned to the house with Pete and Patrick, the two lovely paranormal specialists he’d met via the internet, Brendon was sitting on the bed with Ryan’s head resting in his lap as the two of them talked softly about what it was like in the underworld. Gross. “These are Pete and Patrick,” he announced, climbing through the window.  
Both Brendon and Ryan sprang to attention, Ryan doing so much less gracefully due to his illness. “Fuck, man, those guys tried to kill Brendon,” Ryan attempted to stand.  
“Hey,” Pete held up his hands in surrender. “We’re here to propose a deal, one that I think would make everyone happy.”  
“What deal?” Spencer demanded. “You never told me anything about a deal! You said you’d help Ryan!”  
“Where are Z and Dally?” Brendon asked cautiously.   
“Bailing Breezy out of jail,” Spencer explained, “They can’t help us anymore anyway, and, back to the subject of the deal--”  
“We don’t approve of demons residing in our world,” Patrick began, “However, under the circumstances, it seems only fair that we demonize Ryan in order to save him from the unfortunate situation into which he was tricked.”  
“That’s not what demonize means, Patrick,” Pete hissed.  
“Whatever,” Patrick continued, “The point is, we’re not letting him die. But we’re also not letting two demons, hybrids or not, stay on the earthplane wreaking havok.”  
“You’re going to save him and then exorcise us?” Brendon demanded.  
“That’s the gist,” Pete confirmed.  
“You never said anything about that,” Spencer hissed. “You told me you could save him. And what do you mean hybrids?”  
“Hybrids,” Patrick repeated, “Like Brendon here. Not really demons, more like… soulless humans. Still not at all acceptable. Still just as dangerous, if not moreso. This one here,” he waved his hand at Brendon, “Has already corrupted two innocent youths.”  
“We’re not corrupted,” Ryan mumbled weakly.   
“Really? Because it looks to me like you’re half dead,” Pete countered, “Actually, way more than half. It looks to me like you’re-- three quarters dead! Nope, nope, that just doesn’t have the same ring to it.”  
“So, let me get this straight,” Spencer huffed, “You’re going to… save Ryan from dying, and then you’re going to kill him again so that he doesn’t corrupt anyone?”  
“See, you get it!”  
“How about this,” Brendon helped Ryan sit up, “You fix him, make him a hybrid, whatever you need to do to keep him from dying. Sevor his bond with his soul, whatever, I don’t care. Then we can work out the details.”  
“Brendon…”  
“Spencer, he’ll die! Not only that, but he’ll be tortured, is that what you want?”  
“No.”  
“Very well, then,” Pete raised his hands above Ryan, who was half asleep and even closer to death, “Let go,” he said softly, “Let go of your soul. Let it fade, it is no longer a part of you. Your heart will beat, your brain will think, your lungs will draw breath. I call on thee, live on without that human part of you! Live on without that which keeps you mortal and immortal all the same! Live on! Live on! Live on!”  
Pete stopped, catching his breath. Ryan was twitching ever so slightly, finally releasing the burden that was his mortal soul. He dug his nails into Brendon’s arms, hissing softly. “You okay, Ry?” Spencer asked after a few moments, when Ryan appeared to have calmed down.  
“Okay as I can be,” his skin was permanently sickly pale, and his amber eyes seemed to have a reddish tint. Oh, and the back of his shirt was ripped due to the bat wings coming out of his back.   
“Now, for the exorcism!” Pete declared gleefully, raising his hands over Ryan once again. “This shouldn’t hurt too much.”  
“MOM!” Spencer screamed, attempting to pull the covers over Ryan to hide his wings. “MOM! MOM, GET IN HERE, THEY’RE BACK, THEY’RE GONNA….”  
Mrs. Smith didn’t even let him finish his sentence before barging in and nearly tearing the door off its hinges. “What is the meaning of all this?” She demanded, staring at Pete and Patrick with cold eyes, “Are you the ones who kidnapped my sons?”  
Ryan’s heart skipped a beat at hearing Mrs. Smith call him her son. “Um…” Pete stammered. “Um… I’m Pete, and this is Patrick, we’re here to save your… son from these two demons.”  
“You didn’t answer my question. Are you the people who kidnapped my sons?”  
“It’s complicated,” Patrick replied, “If you knew our reasoning, you’d--”  
“Did you hold either of these boys against their will? It’s really a simple question.”  
“Well, yeah, but…”  
“Get out of my house,” said Mrs. Smith calmly, “Or I will call the police. Actually, I’m calling the police anyway, but I don’t want you near my children for any longer.”  
The two men said nothing and darted out the window.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the end guys

Chapter 11

Halloween, 2002

“It’s so weird!” Brendon exclaimed. “I feel like I should be standing in the bathtub moving Ryan’s hands!”  
“Never say that again,” said Spencer as he attempted to draw a perfect wing with an eyeliner pencil. “Ryan! This isn’t working!”  
“That’s because you’re not trying hard enough!” Ryan called back. He was doing his own makeup, standing in front of the bathroom mirror. Brendon was laying on Spencer’s bed, throwing and catching a tennis ball against the ceiling, “Do you want me to go in there and do it for you?”  
“Obviously.”  
Ryan strode in, wearing a button down and suspenders over his retracted wings. He was glad he’d learned how to get rid of them, at least temporarily. “It’s literally ridiculously easy,” he explained, snatching the pencil away from Spencer. “Hold still.”  
Brendon smiled, watching as Ryan drew Clockwork Orange-esque eye makeup onto his best friend’s face. “Hold still,” Ryan repeated, before pausing. “Is this mine?”  
“I don’t have my own eyeliner.”  
“That’s it, I’m trading rooms,” Ryan continued to apply the makeup, if with a little less precision. “You’re moving downstairs; Brendon can have your bed.”  
“Why don’t you move?”  
“Because there’s only one bunk bed!”  
“We can’t have you and Brendon in the same room, anyway,” Spencer said matter-of-factly.   
“Why not?”  
“Ryan and Brendon sitting in a tree,” he mocked, “K-I-S-S-I-N--”  
“I hate you.”  
“You love me.”  
Ryan sighed and turned his attention to Brendon. “Why aren’t you wearing a costume, babe?”  
“I wear a costume every day,” Brendon shrugged, “Now I can finally appear in my true form!”  
“You don’t wanna do the clockwork orange thing with us?”  
“No offense, Ry, but there is nothing I would hate more than to do the clockwork orange thing with you.”  
“Stop smirking at each other, Jesus Christ!” Spencer yelled, though he was smiling too, “Why do my best friends have to be lovebirds?”  
“Hey, I’m no bird,” Brendon rubbed his horn, which he was finally able to leave unmedicated. Z may’ve made effective tonics, but appetizing medicine was not her strong suit. “Ryan’s the one with wings.”  
“They’re not even bird wings. They’re bat wings.”  
“They’re demon wings,” Spencer corrected, “Because you’re a filthy heathen who needs Jesus.”  
“At least I’m getting some.”  
“What? Ew, see, that’s why you and Brendon can’t share a--”  
“SPENCER!” Jackie’s loud yell cut him off. “RYAN! BRENDON! LET’S GO; WE’VE BEEN WAITING FOR HOURS!”  
The three of them chuckled. “Well, what are we waiting for?” Brendon climbed down from the bed and took Ryan’s arm. The trio descended, arm in arm, down the stairs, all silently thankful for their home and loving family.


End file.
